My Bannister Moment & Why Your Pleasure Has No Ceiling

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In the fifties, Roger Bannister did something everyone said was impossible.

He ran a mile in under 4 minutes.

Doctors said it was dangerous. Athletes had tried for years and failed. Everybody thought it was impossible.

And then he broke it.

Within 3 years, 16 runners had done the same. Today over 1,500 have broken that barrier.

The limit was never physical.

It was a belief.

I think about this often when it comes to women accessing their full aliveness.

The belief we inherited

For generations we have been told, directly and indirectly, that deep pleasure, full body aliveness, sovereign connection to our own bodies is either dangerous, selfish, or simply not available to us.

So we stopped trying.

And along life, we numbed. We performed. We outsourced our aliveness to other people.

And we called that normal.

I know, because I did it too.

I am an empath, highly sensitive and for most of my life that meant I was feeling everyone else's energy, managing everyone else's needs, pouring myself out constantly.

For years I was not truly in my body. I was actually at war with it.

And the truth nobody tells you is than many of use (concidering highly sensitive or not) numb as a coping mechanism to stay away from the pain. This is a very efficient survival mechanism.

And that numbness is not just about pleasure. It is about your connection to everything. To life itself. To what is actually yours.

What the science actually says

I want to share something that changed everything in how I understand this work.

Pleasure is directly connected to your nervous system.

When your nervous system is dysregulated, stuck in survival mode, constantly braced, disconnected from your body, your brain literally cannot produce the chemical state required for pleasure. For aliveness. For deep connection.

This is biology.

Most women have learned to turn the dial down. To feel a little less. Because at some point, feeling less felt safer than feeling everything.

And because that became their normal, they forgot the dial could go higher.

And believe me, it can.

The most radical act of self care nobody talks about

Most women are desperately seeking safety.

In relationships. In achieving. In controlling. In numbing.

We want to feel held. We want to feel safe. We want to feel like everything is going to be okay.

And we look for that everywhere. Everywhere except the one place it actually lives.

Inside our own body.

Here is what I have learned and what changed everything in my personal practice.

Self pleasure is not indulgent. It is not selfish. It is not even about orgasm.

It is nervous system medicine.

When you are present with your own body, when you show up for yourself with the same devotion you give to everyone else, your nervous system regulates. Your body feels safe. Your capacity to feel expands.

You stop outsourcing your safety to other people.

You stop waiting for someone else to make you feel whole.

You become the source.

And here is what nobody talks about. Your body does not just have the capacity for sexual orgasm.

It has the capacity for griefgasm. Ragegasm. Joysgasm. Tearsgasm.

When your nervous system is regulated enough, when you have widened your capacity to feel, emotions move through you like weather. They arrive. They peak. They release.

And on the other side of that release?

Aliveness.

My Bannister moment

Seven weeks into my orgasmic hypnosis training, something happened.

It was slow, incremental, I almost missed it.

Week one was this quiet that felt unfamiliar.

Week two, I felt something in my chest that began to soften.

Week three, I cried in the middle of a practice and did not try to stop it.

Week four. Sensation start returning to places that had been numb for years.

On week five I sart understanding that my nervous system had been in survival mode for so long it had forgotten how to receive.

On week six, I felt something building. Not just in my body. In my whole being.

And then week seven.

I was in practice. Fully clothed. No touch. Just breath and presence and the slow patient work of rewiring a nervous system that had been braced for decades.

And something moved through me that I can only describe as a full body experience. Not just sexual, not just pleasure. Grief and joy and release and aliveness all at once. My body finally exhaling after years of holding its breath.

That was my Bannister moment.

The limit was never real.

When you stop sending your energy outward constantly, when you learn to generate it, to circulate it, to keep it, everything changes.

Your boundaries shift. Your relationships shift. Your sense of what is actually yours shifts.

What becomes possible

One of the women who went through this journey with me wrote something that stayed with me long after I read it.

"Pleasure stopped being something external and became a compass. I no longer seek permission to soften. I trust my body's wisdom. I trust my erotic intelligence. And finally at home in my body."

- Gema Gamboa

That is the Bannister effect.

Once one woman breaks the limit, everything becomes possible for every woman who witnesses it.

Your nervous system can be rewired. Your body can relearn what it feels like to be safe enough to open.

Not because you learned the right technique.

Because your body remembered it was safe to feel.

One of the biggest shifts in my own growth has been this. Learning to prioritize pleasure over pressure.

Two reminders when the feeling gets big

If you are scared of feeling, I want to offer you two things.

I am in the body. But I am not the body.

I feel. But I am not my feelings.

And when you are ready to go further:

I cannot control what I feel. But I can direct it. Into breath. Into presence. Into pleasure. Into a beautiful internal fire.

And grief is not the opposite of pleasure.

It is the doorway to it.

You were not built to feel less.

You were built to feel everything.

That is not your weakness.

That is your Bannister moment waiting to happen.

Presence, Pleasure & Power is a 3-month initiation for women ready to go all the way in. Six activations. A complete rewiring of everything that has been keeping you from feeling what is actually available to you.